Does my butt look big in this?

I know that headline sucked you right in!

Why is that? Why as women, are we fixated on the world's definition STILL about women and so therefore so critical of what we look like TO OTHERS.

Why as women are we so fixated on what we look like on the outside.

I know, not a terribly original post, but I have been thinking about this alot in the last week or so mainly due to the fact that I have started to create lots of video, I will be doing loads more and then there is INSTAGRAM STORIES.

Never in the history of forever have we been fed a diet of constant video imagery and it is only going to get more and more. Remember in the 80's that song Video killed the radio star?

Well in my industry - people are starting to say Video killed the Interwebs.

Well not really killed it - but took it over. And people we are in the midst of the seige right now.

So why am I concerned?


There is my face! My clothes! My hair!

My imperfections

How can I show that to the world, and even worse live!

I know speaking to other business woman that they can really shut down when it comes to being on camera, this is worse when it is live.

Now I know that being wary of being on camera is not just something women have a thing with, I know plenty of men who are not comfortable in putting themselves out there in video, but it is a particularly female thing to so very caught up in how we present ourselves.

Let's be clear here, I am not encouraging people who are on camera to be scruffy, dirty or unprepared. Of course you need to put your best face forward. But for whatever reason women misconstrue this as something entirely different.

Often we are not happy unless we are super critical of ourselves and other women, particularly online. Some incredibly hateful and spiteful things are bandied about in the online space. What I think is worse though is the subliminal messenging that can occur and the reflex thoughts we ourselves have. 

Tell me if this is not you.

  • You notice Leigh Sales hair - and mentally notice if you like or don't like that nights style.
  • You look closely at Hillary Clinton's pant suits and wonder if they are tight or not.
  • Clothing that Kate wears sells out, but you can't help yourself and think she is too thin.
  • Samantha Armitage - well she is looking a little chunkier and that jacket doesn't sit right. 
  • You don't swim with your kids at the beach as often as you might have becuase you can't get past your own thighs.

Contrast this from a MALE perspective

  • Kerry O'Brien - I can't even think about what his hair looked like other than it was red
  • Did you even notice any suit Bill Clinton wore - ever??
  • Who cares what William wears - but man the receeding hairline!
  • Kochie? Balding, Boring - but do we really judge his expertise based on how he looks? 
  • Dad is always mucking around in the water - gut or no gut, receeding hairline or not. Most men don't think about what they look like - they are kind of like dogs at the beach - in the moment

Dove commission a global study of how women see themselves. It is quite sobering reading.

According to a new report commissioned by Dove, a staggering 89 per cent of Australian women are opting to cancel plans, job interviews or other important engagements simply because of how they look.
— The Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report

Those are pretty scary numbers. You can read the report here

Ladies - this is getting worse not better.

I don't have any answers or insights to offer except this one.

My daughter does not seem to be as fixated on this as her mother. Maybe it is her great circle of friends ( and by default then, their wonderful mothers) but hopefully this is changing for our daughters generations and we older women need to throw this attitude off, like we throw off our bras at the end of the day with a rather than AHHH...

I know would love to know your thoughts on this.